Sacrifice + Depression
Over the past couple of weeks I have been overcome with depression from school to my personal life. The more serious I take my craft the more things change around me, another thing that proves God didn't give everyone my vision. I know that the life I live is a blessing and at the end of the day I am happy but the flaws bring me down a lot.
Friends have always been a tricky thing in my life since the birth of my daughter. I was the first of my friends to have a child and that truly set the gears to my loner life. Everyone was busy still going out and living the young life, I had to grow up. I may have locked myself away, I can't speak for all young mothers but I was extremely hard on myself. All the side eyes and dirty looks I get from strangers only made me want to stay in my room with my little one more. Depression only hit me when I realized I was being judged without even opening my mouth. The older she got the more I began to stop caring about the outside world. It took me realizing that my age didn't determine my success as a mother.
Being a full time entrepreneur, student and mom one always seems to get the short end of the stick at some point. Thats when my support system comes in play, but lately it has been a struggle to even depend on that. My motherhood is constantly judged because of how much time I am forced to spend out the house. With me graduating next year my work has picked up and I have truly be submersed in my school work. It took me truly praying and talking to God about this struggle and just leading me through the negativity.
I recently have experienced a breakthrough and truly am happy but I know the occasional overwhelming moments are normal. I tend to drown in my life sometime because I am really a fulltime everything! Imagine that! I don't know how I get shit done but I do!
Stay tuned because writing is my therapy: I hope I touch some one